The right thing will be the right thing.
specifically, the right person will be the right person.
I had this question come up on a client call today and I just I loved loved loved it. I love those "tough" questions. Those questions that challenge old and limited conditioning. Perhaps you've heard it before that "you have to train your partner." As a woman, this rang especially familiar. I heard the message throughout my youth that a good woman trains her man. As if I, somehow, would or even could know more about being a man than my man would.
Talk about an uphill battle.
This mindset stems from women who like to control. Women who probably do control everything in their life, to include their men. But here's the thing. That's NOT ME. That's not what I want for my amazing relationship. I don't want to have to train anyone anymore than I would want them to train me.
you can't train a honey badger anyway ;) go ahead and try.
Seriously though. Where does anyone get off thinking we know better for someone else than they know for themselves. No. That's not my man. My man knows what he wants (me;)) and my man knows what to do. He knows how to treat me. He knows what to say. He knows how to take care of me. He knows how to help me when I'm in a pinch or hurting. He knows when I'm hurting. He knows how to touch me, to kiss me, to love me. He knows how to respect me and he definitely knows how to listen.
No I don't need to train my man because he's already listening and watching and learning on his own. He's tuned into me. It's telepathic. It's spiritual. It's non-verbal. No, I don't have to train my man. I don't force anything to be the right thing if it's not.
And really....this goes deeper than finding the right thing. This is about acceptance.
This is about unconditional love.
This is about not needing anyone to change to meet your expectations.
This is about loving someone for who they, as they are right now, just as you would want to be loved. This is giving others the space they deserve and need to evolve.
No, you can't train someone to be something they're not. That never works. Not in the long-run at least. This is about seeing someone as they are and, from that place of honesty, and truth, and acceptance, knowing if it's right or not. They are either the right person or they are not.
It's either the right time or it's not. You don't have to force this stuff.
If you start a relationship from feeling like you need to control someone, or you need to change someone, or you're trying to put a round peg into a square hole or it's just not quite right, well, that's a preview of the coming attractions, love. A karmic pattern sets into motion that goes on and on and on and on....
And even if that means you have to let good people go along the way, you've gotta keep it real. You simply can't force the wrong thing or the not-quite-right-thing to be something that's it's just... not. You CAN have the hell yes. You DESERVE the hell yes. And so it is.