Ahhhh...where to begin. BE PREPARED. Chaos, discomfort, trying to find understanding in all of it is up ahead.

So here we go. This blog... these thoughts are prompted (triggered more likely) by another meditation channel. As I was updating my YouTube channel tonight, I was prompted to go check out another fellow meditation channel. Someone whom I've never known/heard of before.

The whole "appeal" of that meditation channel totally triggered me. "This is so annoying!" I caught myself saying. I almost hate to say it but there you have it. The actual thoughts that came into my head. And not that this particular person was annoying, but that, I'm just so over the whole "let's make meditation this really serious and still and boring thing."

I don't know what it was about that channel in particular, honestly. I don't know. But I'm like, "ick. no. NO!" That's not meditation to me.

I want it to be a fun

I want it to be energized

I want to be energized

I don't like the whole, "wamp wamp wamp.." vibe.

I want energy

I want fun

I want action packed

Yes, the still, slow, meditation has its place, for sure. There is SO MUCH benefit and creativity that is derived from becoming still. Perhaps..perhaps, I'm being snobby about the whole thing. I mean, if I'm being honest, I only listen to guided meditations from ONE SOURCE. A channeled source. I love them and trust them. I have not veered from them in over 7 years. If i'm not using their meditations to guide my journey of self-exploration and ascension, then I'm just sitting in my own mother fucking silence, listening to my own crazy thoughts. Period.



I want to break free

The Meditation Queen. That's what someone once dubbed me. It stuck. I liked it and it worked well for me. It took off. It was great

but now

but now I wonder. is that misleading? Because I don't sit around and meditate all day. LOL God no. I'm too energized, TOO ALIVE for that quackery.

NOOOOPPEE...I do love meditation though. That is the truth. I connect with my Soul and God and the Universe in my meditations. I do so much cool stuff in my meditations. It has been the whole "going within" journey that saved my mind, my health, and my life.

Yes indeed. But now..I want more. I don't relate to the other meditation channels where you feel like you're walking into some kind of day spa. I mean, spas are great, don't get me wrong. This is NOT me trying to put down others. This is me feeling itchy in my old skin. This is me wanting to shed. This is me realizing....wondering... if it's time for something new.

A new moniker perhaps?

I love teaching law of attraction. I love channeling. I love uplifting people but what to do with that? Just.. do with that, I suppose. And yes, I love using meditations to help people because they work and it's part of the whole, "get a grip on your mind, turbo" thing. It works. It's really quite amazing and fantastic to be a part of that.

BUT I WANT ACTION! I want to TOUR and TRAVEL and just speak, maybe dance. maybe even sing. How does this all play together, universe!?

I don't fucking know!!

lol. Welcome to my late night thoughts.

You know what's really going on here? I know what this is...


This self-indulgent...thing... is me swirling in the chaotic thoughts of expansion. Of myself. The unknown. Life is causing me to become something more and I'm clarifying what exactly that something more is now.

In the meantime, I'm must embrace the discomfort until clarity comes. Which it will.

it always does

in the meantime...

I just wanna talk, and teach, and dance, and manifest a crazy awesome life. <3