The bottom line is that your life, your thoughts, your reality is all a choice.
Let me explain where this is coming from.
Today was a bit of a full-circle moment for me. I've moved back to my home, Ohio, and have subsequently had many meetups with friends and colleagues that I haven't seen in years. A decade in some cases. Today, I met up with a friend whom I hadn't seen in, literally, 12 years. I had many thoughts swirling through my mind prior to meeting up. Some were, "Wow, this is so cool and crazy! A real full-circle moment." Another thought was, "Wow, I've changed a lot, some for good..great even, and some, well I don't know, I've just changed. I wonder what he'll be thinking." (Who the hell cares right?) Well, that's my honest truth.
And then I realized.
"Madeline, you get to choose your thoughts. Are you thinking thoughts that are empowering, that are high-vibe and affirming to yourself?" "Are you affirming your fabulous, lovely, beautiful, smart, fun, and interesting self?" No. I wasn't. I was judging myself like some mean, judge-y, highschool girl. I was worried about looking a mess or him being pissed because I was running late. I had a mixed bag of excitement and worry that the reaction to seeing me after 12 years might be a less-than enthusiastic, "oh."
Clearly, those weren't my only thoughts because otherwise I would've locked myself in my room and cancelled with some lame excuse. But it was past conditioning that was rearing it's ugly, mean head. Once I realized what my mind was doing, I stopped myself and said, "No! I'm not going there. I choose to not think these thoughts." I get to choose my thoughts and even if my fears seem perfectly logical, the truth is, is I'm not a mind reader and I don't have to think anything that doesn't feel good to me. And who the hell cares anyway!
What if, despite these fears that are popping up, I still decided to completely love on myself. What if instead of going to negative-ville, I instead decided that I happen to love who I am, how I am, how I look, and everything about me. What if everything is just fine. Who honestly cares. Those thoughts feel good. I decided to choose those thoughts.
And that's how it's done. That's how you create an amazing life. You choose it. You choose to think differently in spite of fears. You choose to release negative thoughts and instead choose to believe... to know that you are safe, supported, loved, and guided in every moment. You choose to say, "I'm going to get through this. I'm going to accomplish that. I'm destined to succeed. My thoughts, my talents, my gifts, and my purpose is real and valuable and worthy of being shared. I get to choose how I think of myself. I get to choose to see the good in me. I get to choose to feel good about myself. I get to choose to love on myself."
Just because. Just because. Just because it feels so damn good. ;P
I get to choose to believe that I'm important, that I"m valuable, that I'm lovable, worthy, good enough as I am. I no longer care if I'm not exactly where I want to be in my career or if I'm where others think I should be. I choose to no longer care if I'm at the "perfect" weight or my makeup is done right, or whatever. I no longer choose to care if others think I'm clever enough, funny enough, smart enough, blah blah blah. I just want to show up as the real Madeline Rinehart (insert your own name of course). I just want to be who I am. Honestly, eff judgement. I choose to love myself.
Because it feels amazing to be in a space of total self-love and acceptance. Period. From now on, even when it's hard, I'm going to keep choosing to think amazing thoughts so I can feel amazing, so I can continue to create and attract an amazing life.
I get to choose. You get to choose. Whatever we want, we get to choose.
P.S. The message I received from my friend after I got home was this:
"You're excitement still makes you so much fun. And you got me thinking about how what you're doing lines up really well with what i reach in music, just worded differently. Pretty cool
And we timed it great. I got to rehearsal exactly when I was supposed to."
What the heck was I so worried about? Perfect timing as per the usual- thank you universe! <3