I often wondered what that REALLY meant. Why...how could someone truly love another who didn't love them? I learned the hard way what it means. It was actually a pattern I had been playing out in a few different relationships and didn't even realize it.
I loved men who, in all fairness, loved me to their fullest potential but it was never quite on par with what I was giving. Let alone NEEDING and soul-desiring. I was being loved with half of a heart. Hoping...expecting to one day receive the commitment or adoration or protection or whatever that they were unwilling, and possibly, unable to give.
My lesson: You can't expect a broken man to be the ONE for you. Your Divine Partner is not someone you were only meant to HEAL. The one your soul desires will come when you BOTH are WHOLE and ready.
Case in point. I had fallen madly in love with a seriously wounded soul. It was a beautiful relationship. We clicked, we connected, we traveled, we both felt SO MUCH PASSION and chemistry with each other. Problem was (and red flag numero uno), he was just out of a very serious, long-term relationship. Ahem....marriage. He was just divorced.
"It's was so bad." He reiterated to me over and over and over. And he wasn't wrong. It really was. They BOTH admitted that to me separately. He had been betrayed and, for years and years and years was mentally, verbally, and emotionally beat down. He had become a shadow of himself.
And so of course, here comes me, the healer, the lover, the nurturer, the spiritual warrior. I see why the universe brought us together. I'm the one who LOVES to sweep in and bring the light and life back into people. It's what I do, it's what I'm here for, these are my spiritual gifts and I'm fully aware of that.
Where I went terribly wrong with this was assuming that MY healing, MY love, was REQUITED love. I assumed that he too was wanting and also CAPABLE of returning the same level of love and devotion back to me.
It's kinda like the doctor expecting their patient to heal THEM in return.
Not that I needed healing. What I needed was CLARITY. I needed to FINALLY learn the freakin' lesson.
My pattern was to attract lost & broken birds and bring them back to life. I DERIVE SO MUCH PLEASURE in bringing people back to life, but that's NOT the kind of love I want and need in my Divine Relationship. You can heal/save/coach your clients/patients but you DO NOT want to be the healer/coach of your Divine Partner.
You need someone WHO IS ALREADY WHOLE.
Who is READY.
Who is what you're actually SOUL-DESIRING.
Otherwise, you find yourself in a parasitic kind of relationship. You may find short-term satisfaction from being a Godsend to this person, but you never get YOUR needs fulfilled in the same way. It's unrequited love. And not that they don't love you in the way they can, it's just that...they don't..**can't**.. love you in the SAME way.
The give and take, the flow, the energy is off-balance. It's not healthy and sooner or later, you will have to learn that lesson.
I gave my heart, soul, hopes, and (false) expectations to him only to find out that he wasn't willing to let his ex go. Emotionally, that is. "We're great friends now," he would try to convince me. The very woman that he cried on my shoulder about, that he used me to come back to life from, THAT very person, he was putting above and before me.
It was heartbreaking.
But the signs were everywhere once I realized this.
And so, I had to learn the lesson...which, for today, comes to you in 3 parts:
- Get CLEAR on what you want. That relationship allowed me to get CRYSTAL CLEAR on the fact that I require, desire, and DESERVE a man who is WHOLE, who is READY, who knows what he wants and takes action towards it (it being meeee :)). A man who honors me, PROTECTS me, prioritizes me, puts me above all else, a man who sees me as his GODDESS, the love of his life, the ONE. The list goes on from here but I think you get the gist. All of your relationships are SHOWING you something. Learn the lesson. Get the clarity.
- Don't give your heart, hopes, and dreams to the wrong person, i.e. the person who is SHOWING you that they either won't or can't ACTUALLY be that ONE for you. Stick to your list, Goddess. You do not sacrifice, sabotage, or compromise on your soul-desires. This leads to resentment, dissatisfaction, and ultimately, failure.
- Your Divine Partner is not going to be someone you need to heal. That's not to say that healing won't occur between you and your Divine Partner, but the one your soul desires will come when you BOTH are WHOLE and ready.
So my question to you now, Goddess. Or Warrior. Or whomever. Are you learning the lesson? Are you getting clear? Are you standing confidently, proudly in your KNOWING that you are FULLY deserving and capable for your heart's "wildest" desires.
For that ONE.
Or are you stuck somewhere settling, sacrificing, or compromising on what you truly want and what is rightfully yours.
Because at the end of the day, it's YOUR decision. It's up to you, baby. You either decide you're going to have it or not.
YOU get the chance to stand in your confidence and conviction and POWER and say, "damnit, this is what I want and I'm going to have it!! I deserve this! I am so freaking worthy!!!
And it's A-OK to fall off course, to make mistakes, to get it wrong, to have your heart broken. This is where growth, expansion, and CLARITY come from!
Once you get it, you will never go back.
P.S. Alll my Goddesses!! Goddess Vibes is launching on WEDNESDAY JUNE 6TH!! This is a course of moving back into your HEART, back into your FEMININE, MAGNETIC, GODDESS power. Reclaiming self-confidence, self-WORTH and learning how to use the powers of the Divine Feminine to attract and cultivate soul-connected, TRUE LOVE relationships.
It's so so good. Go here to read more about.