Love is Patient - Need is Anxious
These are the words that have been reverberating throughout my mind these past few days.
I've been having some really amazing conversations with my clients lately. A lot of self-reflection and self-awareness in regards to how they're showing up in relationships. And yes, every. single. one of my conversations have been in regards to LOVE, Soulmates, and Divine Partnerships.
And perhaps more accurately...
They've been in regards to what these relationships have been revealing.
The hidden desires. The REAL motives.
Why are you doing this? What is it that you're REALLY wanting?
What's really going on in your vibration???
And so no surprise here (thank you Law of Attraction) but the very story/paradigm/programming that I had to unlock within myself is the same pattern I'm working with so many other amazing, heart-centered souls today.
In all its forms.
For me, anxious attachment manifested as...yes..anxiety, FEAR, constantly questioning if the person I loved still loved me. Worrying if I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.
Always worried if I was enough for them to want to stay with me.
Clearly, we're talking about a self-love deficit here. I was looking for love from the outside in. I wanted...NEEDED... to know I was adored, loved, and wouldn't possibly be rejected. But I would never admit that to them. No way. I would, instead, become distant. I would back away. I would act "better than." Like I didn't care. Like, "I don't need you, bro." I would never fully commit my heart.
I would be in relationships and purposefully find faults in my partner (keeping them to myself) as "proof" that, I must be better than him, this is why, and this is why he wouldn't possibly leave me. Look, I'm prettier, richer, more popular. I have THINGS and you don't, so therefore, I'm better and therefore, you can't leave me.
I could never just be at peace. I could never just trust that, me...alone..ME, Madeline the weird, hyper, anxious girl...was enough.
The idea that someone could actually, truly love me and wouldn't want to leave or cheat or abandon, I never quite believed it. I really thought there was always some ulterior motive. Always questioning if I was really loved. Always ready to jump at the first sign of withdrawal.
Looking for love in all the wrong places. Not meeting that need within myself. Mimicking the pattern of my parents.
Perhaps this is a similar story to you..?
Perhaps your mother wasn't emotionally available.
Or perhaps Dad was aloof.
Codependent on external validation.
Perhaps he put too much emphasis on needing to be the "good guy," often sacrificing the needs of his family for others.
For you, perhaps it's not so much that anything bad happened, but rather, there was a void. An obvious void. There were things that didn't happen, weren't said, or felt by you.
Things you needed to hear or feel at the time.
Affection, praise, unconditional validation of your worth...
Here's the thing. This doesn't mean that mom and dad were bad. Definitely not! You could have had really great parents like me, that gave you all they could, that were doing the best they knew how, and did a pretty darn good job at it. However, they may still be asleep to their patterns and inclinations.
Chances are that their parents ALSO had this same pattern. That's how this whole thing works after all. We take on the energy of our parents and of our environment. We have to. We have to attune and get in vibrational harmony with our environment to survive in it. We keep that pattern until we realize that we are unconsciously repeating it and it's no longer RELEVANT!
SO HOPEFULLY.. In that moment, you wake up.
You become conscious about what you're doing and start to CHOOSE who you are/what you think/what you believe/how you move forward.
You begin to purposefully call in a new reality.
Not based on fear or survival.
But instead based on TRUTH. That you are safe. That this universe is FRIENDLY. That you are loved.
So where are you in this mix? Are you realizing this pattern for yourself? Are you somewhere in the middle? Wherever you're at, the question now...the question ALWAYS is, "do I want to keep being this way?"
If not, ask for a new way. A new understanding!
Know that there is a new way.
Ask for a shift in your perception. Ask how you can truly love yourself and another. Ask to know True Love.
I had to ask these questions for myself. I asked, I prayed, I meditated and I kept asking. "I want to know what TRUE LOVE is. What does it feel like? What does it look like? How will I know if I've found it, God?!?! Universe?!?!"
And what I've received so far is this:
Love is a force.
It travels beyond warp speed. Beyond light. Beyond thought.
It is here and there and everywhere all at the same time.
It is felt, it is known, it is channeled.
It holds all things together.
Like gravity...or magnetism.
It's something you tap into every time you think a kind thought. It's something you tap into when you reflect on how loved you are.
When you tap into appreciation, you tap into love.
When you have compassion, acceptance, understanding, when you are allowing all of life to be just as it is, you are tapped into Love.
When you are tapped into Love, MAGIC happens.
Things pan out better than expected. A deep sense of peace and security enter your life. You flow. You are magnetic to success & abundance. You glow! You radiate. You laugh harder, you smile wider, you love deeper. Everything changes when you do.
Affirm with me to step into the vibration of Love:
I am patient with myself and others.
I release my anxiety about whatever is going on and remember that everything is ALWAYS working out perfectly for me.
I know there is a bigger picture. I know all good things are in store for me.
I am loved.
I am safe.
I honor my desires.
I honor my needs.
I honor my life.
I honor the needs and desires of others.
I really appreciate the people in my life.
I am important and special to others.
I am loved and I am so lovable.
I love myself without any reservations.
I deserve to feel really really good.
I deserve peace.
I deserve ease.
I appreciate all that I have.
There is so much that is going right in my life.
I am creating heaven on Earth.
I say "Thank You" often.
I know that all things that are meant for me will always work out
I detach from needing a specific outcome because I absolutely trust the universe to bring me this or something better.
I honor the path that others must take.
I take time to think before I act.
I am balanced. Grounded. Centered.
I love having a positive outlook.
All is well.
~~~~I love you :D