So much talk around bullies these days. People that are hurting - big time, and taking it out on other people.
People letting others take it out on them.
Been there done that. If this is you, STOP!!! Like now...like yesterday! Please, love. Stop being the person who is not owning their "no," not honoring themselves, not setting clear boundaries, NOT KNOWING their boundaries i.e. What is acceptable to you? How do you wish to feel in all your relationships? How do you expect to be treated?
This isn't a warpath thing either. People on the warpath are actually perpetuating victimhood. They feel hurt and slighted and are therefore determined to take it out on another. Karmically, that's just messy. Practically speaking, it doesn't even touch the real issue. The solution for me has been in my motto, "firm yet kind." It's like what Abraham teaches, we have a war against drugs, a war against poverty, a war against almost everything and all it does is perpetuate more of the problem. The key is to start by going within. You can't have a bully without someone who feels like a victim. Vibrationally speaking, both are operating from a place of pain and insecurity.
That has my been my long and hard journey/lesson/greatest growth. Growing up, I was bullied. I was called names, shunned, cast aside, picked apart, etc. Most of my life I just thought if I was "nice" enough, if I just stayed out of the way, stayed quiet, didn't bother people, whatever, I'd be fine. NOPPPEEE. I perpetuated victimhood because deep down, that "niceness" was all about fear.
I didn't say no to things that I really wanted to say no to. I didn't set boundaries. I didn't know my own worth. I let people get into my mind. I felt invaluable, unlovable, not good enough. All the things that I don't care to really go into because my point is not who I was or what I experienced, my point is that, because of how much I have grown from all of it, I WOULDN'T CHANGE A DAMN THING! :)
Those were the moments that forced me to go within, to become my own source of confidence. Those were the moments that built me, shaped me, and allowed me to strengthen and embolden myself in a way that I couldn't have done without.
I've learned from the people who hurt me.
I refuse to perpetuate pain.
I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not a victim and I NEVER will be again because I simply won't allow it.
That's not to say that people won't try to hurt me. I can't control people, I simply don't know. And to be honest, people DO try to hurt me. To this day, I've had people who try to use me and get the most out of me for as little reciprocation as possible. In the past, the "nice" me would've tried to ignore it. Today, I simply WILL NOT allow it.
I'm standing up
That is my boundary
NO. NO. NO. NO. You don't get to do "that" in my reality because I will not allow it. I will no longer doubt myself, my voice, my discomfort, my gut feelings that tell me, "something's not quite right here."
I don't believe in accidents. I believe EVERYTHING the universe brings to me is here for me to grow and learn from. But it's up to me to learn the lesson and move the f*&k on.
I don't worry about retribution because I know that the universe is PERFECT and God balances all the books. Everything really does work out perfectly in the end. That is not only my core belief, but it's truth and I've seen it play out in my own life. Because I know this, I know it's counterproductive to stay in a mindset and vibration where l feel like someone DID something to me. Instead, I use each situation to get crystal clear on the kind of treatment and behavior I will allow from now on. I focus on what I want, what I need (core values), and how I can grow (confidence, strength) and that's it because, bottom line, I can't control others.
I can't control this world. I don't need to. I've learned that as I stand firmly in a vibration of self-WORTH/self-LOVE/empowerment/alignment, I dont need to defend myself. I don't need to be scared. I've stopped trying to be so damn nice and simply focus on being ME. Being real. Being honest.
And it has been the difference maker in my quality of life. Everything improved once I started loving and honoring myself. It's easier to follow my "hell yes!" and firmly and kindly say "no" to the things that just aren't quite right.
I trust my voice
I trust myself
I trust my message
I harm no one and I allow no one to harm me
I love myself.
Owning your no is TOTALLY a self-love thing. It's ALIGNMENT and it's POWERFUL. Abraham teaches that "one person in alignment is more powerful than a million people not."
Give yourself FULL PERMISSION to move towards your "hell yes!" and definitely, DEFINITELY practice owning your mutha effing, "no" and watch how things start to change for you.
:) so much love~~